Monday, April 26, 2010

Sex tips?

It always puzzles me somewhat when people laugh feminism off as the pointless preoccupation of bra-burners and hairy women. Sure, bras turned out to be kind of useful and some of us like our legs hairless, but that doesn't mean the ideals of feminism are beside the point. (I blogged about the continuing need for feminism here.)

Then, every so often, something comes along which reminds me of the depth of ignorance behind such callousness. This time it was a book entitled Sex Tips for Husbands and Wives from 1894. This book is part of a recent trend for republishing books which predate the 1960s (i.e. second wave feminism) and contain advice on relationships and families. The idea is that the books, with their outdated values and prudish suggestions, are supposed to be funny.

It's kind of nice, in a way, that the old-fashioned, often sexist, advice seems absurd enough to be funny. It shows we've come a long way. But this book crossed the line. It's publisher, Summersdale, advertises the book with the following excerpt:

"While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured... One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: give little, give seldom and, above all, give grudgingly… Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices."


Which might seem funny, until you remember that second wave feminism wasn't all hype. This book, when first published in 1894, was for real. Sex actually was "at best revolting and at worse rather painful" for many women, and this was considered natural.
 
Am I really supposed to find that funny?

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