Would the real Sherlock Holmes please stand up?

I posted here about how the book is not always better than the film, and how I enjoyed the recent Sherlock Holmes film. I've since had several friends mention to me that they were disappointed with the film, in virtue of the characters being so different from those written by Conan Doyle. 'That's fair enough,' I thought, 'You have to draw the line somewhere. You don't get to go around claiming a film is based on a book if it doesn't even use the same story or characters.'

After all, everyone knows that Sherlock Holmes was a reserved private detective who spent his time smoking a pipe whilst sitting in a wingbacked chair, the picture of civility. It's all incredibly sedate and English. Right?

Robert Downey Jr., on the other hand, plays him as:

• a detective consulted by police
• eccentric
• energetic
• alcoholic (when without work)
• brash
• a prizefighter

Imagine my surprise when I started reading the Sherlock Holmes books and found that Holmes actually is all of these things! With one exception- in the books, Holmes has a cocaine habit when out of work. We can safely assume that the cocaine was substituted with alcohol in the film for the purposes of winning the sympathy of modern audiences (at the time, cocaine use was considered a vice, but not a terrible one).

Shouldn't the Sherlock Holmes fans be praising Guy Ritchie for presenting the rich, endearing true nature of Holmes to the world? (Not to mention for turning an English cliche into a fresh adventure story?)

Literary crushes

The first crush I ever had was on a fictional character. Nuuskamuikkunen. Or, in the English translation of the Moomins, Snuffkin. The reason was simple. He was a thinker, and I liked that. I wanted to marry him. I must have been four or five years old.

Since then, I think the fictional characters I’ve ‘had a thing’ for have outnumbered the ‘real people’. I don’t think I’m alone in this, and I think the reason is simple. We get to know fictional characters, really know them, in a way we rarely know people we come across in day to day life. Isn’t that what happens when you fall in love? You get to know someone so well that their faults and their mistakes make sense to you, because you know their motivations and their history. Sometimes you know them better than they know themselves. That’s what love is. Is it any wonder that we sometimes feel a shadow of it for the characters we know intimately?

Here are a few of my literary loves:

Peter Pevensie, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
Teddy Kent, the Emily series by L. M. Montgomery
Matthew, the Obernewtyn Chronicles by Isobelle Carmody
Fitzwilliam Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Wintrow Vestrit, The Liveship Traders trilogy by Robin Hobb

I actually began typing out a brief description of each of the characters, and then realized I was saying the same things about each of them: unflinchingly loyal, considerate, immovable on matters of integrity and conscience, confident in his own judgment. (Mind you, a lot of these characters are quite different. They just happen to share all of these qualities.)

I guess the fact that Peter Pevensie makes it onto the list shows that even at age seven I knew that standing for something is hot.

Characters to hate

I've dealt with my favourite characters, but what about the least favourite?

I often find that the characters I truly despise aren't the villains and the supervillains- there is pleasure in disliking these, they are literary devices and they are there to be disliked. But what about the characters towards whom I'm supposed to feel sympathetic, and simply don't? Those, I really cannot forgive.

1. Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë – there seems to be nothing to Heathcliff’s personality but abuse and manipulation. He was bent on destroying the lives of all he knew, including the woman he was supposed to love. Where is the heroism in that?

2. David Meredith, My Brother Jack, by George Johnston – David’s self-serving morality never won any points with me. Even worse, he recognized his own failures and refused to do anything about them.

3. Queen Jadis, The Magician’s Nephew, by C.S. Lewis – In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the White Witch is something of a literary device, a villain, not truly despicable. But before she became the White Witch, Jadis was a Queen who, even in the prime of her very human youth and beauty, thought more of her own power than she did of her people.

4. Lady Macbeth, Macbeth, by Shakespeare – Enough said.

5. Captain Kennit, The Liveship Traders Trilogy, by Robin Hobb – Kennit is pretty much a pirate version of Heathcliff. I will concede to Robin Hobb, however, that Kennit is a masterfully complex character, the most difficult on this list to hate.


As you might gather, I have no truck with the Byronic Hero. Life throws terrible things at all of us. Being ‘damaged’ is never an excuse for abuse, manipulation or compulsive lying. The Byronic Hero is a large part of the reason I avoid many classics, and the reason I refuse to read Twilight.

I do, however, have quite a soft spot for the antihero, who is different.

Team Darcy

So I saw New Moon last night. It was god-awful, though not quite as god-awful as Twilight. Unfortunately this also meant it did not provide as much amusement as Twilight did. Of course I'm talking about the film, not the book, because I refuse to (publicly) judge something I haven't read.

Anyway, I didn't get the film. I didn't understand who I was supposed to be rooting for, or why I was supposed to care what happened to any of the characters. Except maybe Jacob. Victoria was kind of cool, but I suspect I wasn't supposed to think so. I do think I finally understand all that 'Team Edward'/'Team Jacob' stuff. As I see it, this is how it stands:

JACOB
Pros: hotness; charm; charisma; allows Bella her own autonomy; funny; fun to hang out with
Cons: might accidentally scratch half her face off

EDWARD
Pros: ... Um ... (thinking really, really hard) ... No, I've got nothing.
Cons: way too pale; looks like he's about to cry all the time; no sense of humour whatsoever; makes Bella depressed; has a strong desire to eat Bella; stalks her; won't allow her to make her own life choices

OK, I suppose that makes me Team Jacob. Except that I think Jacob could do way better than Bella. I think Jacob belongs in a different film altogether. In any case, Jacob is all well and good but he ain't no Darcy. At least in Pride & Prejudice the Byronic Darcy meets his match in Lizzy (as opposed to taking over her entire life and controlling her), and I don't have to feel like an old perv for having a little crush on him.

Now, for your viewing enjoyment, a picture almost as weird and impossible to understand as the film:

These are a Few of My Favourite Characters

I’m a bit baffled to see Harry Potter at the top of the list of UK children’s favourite book characters. Seriously, Harry? Hermione, sure. Ron, even. The Weasley twins, Hagrid, Luna. But not Harry. He’s such a whiney ass.

I was, however, quite pleased to see Charlie and Lola in the list.

You can see the whole list here.

Anyway, it got me thinking. Who are my favourite characters?

1. Emily Byrd Starr – the Emily series, L.M. Montgomery

2. Nuuskamuikkunen (pictured) – Moomintroll books, Tove Jansson

3. Inigo Montoya – The Princess Bride, William Goldman

4. Fitzwilliam Darcy – Pride & Prejudice, the divine Ms. Austen
5. Peregrin “Pippin” Took – The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
6. Althea Vestrit – The Liveship Traders trilogy, Robin Hobb
7. Wintrow Vestrit – The Liveship Traders trilogy, Robin Hobb
8. Professor McGonagall – The Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling
9. Mr. Bennet – Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen
10. Mr. Carpenter – the Emily series, L.M. Montgomery

I wonder if it says anything about me that only three of my ten are female? Narrowly missing the cut are Teddy Kent, also from L.M. Montgomery’s Emily series, and Maurice, the streetwise, smart-talking alley cat from Terry Pratchett’s The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents.

It's also interesting that a few of my favourite characters are from books that wouldn't even rate in my favourite books/series (e.g. Harry Potter), whilst other books which I adore (e.g. The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis) don't have any especially endearing (to me, anyway) characters.

Please leave your own lists in the comments section- I’d love to see them!